Never let them take you alive

Rock and Roll High School.

I feel bad that i had forgotton how great it was.

It has The Ramones in it! could it get even better?

It's hilarious. and Riff has some damn awesome outfits.

Everyone needs to watch it, and tell me what you think!

for some reason, i feel like writing a pointless journal. I have no life, correct?

why i titled it that, i don't know. i already have a journal on who I am, though that was pretty pointless too.

I need a change of some type, i just don't know how to do it. i'm almost happy with who I am, but i do need something else.

Eh, i'll just shut up and listen to some Motley Crue.

I got a little bored... this isn't that good, but whatever. my second attempt at lyrics. blah.

I’m drowning in ice, you wish it was you.

There’s no place to hide.

Clear the smoke from your lungs, pull your self together!

We’re sleeping in a better time.

Never coming back, never turning back!

What are you afraid of? Don’t tell me it’s this face.

Don’t dare to forget this name, you’ll be screaming it later.

Of course you won’t forget this voice,

It’s the last one you’ll hear!

Scream until your lungs give out. No one’s here to save you.

Walls of secrets, now there’s little oxygen.

Stagger out, trip away.

Time’s running out.

Curled up in corners, what’s in this room that keeps you coming back?

Is it all you’re breathing for?

Words spill out faster than new blood

Like thoughts through your head.

You do know I’d die here with you?

But I have better things to do. Dig your own grave.

I’m not helping you, there’s no turning back once we’ve started.

No running, No hiding. As if they could do both.

Shadows have come to an end! Night could last forever.

All is less than the dark, Darker than death it’s self.

Can you feel it? Or at least understand how I feel this?

This is the way we should have done this.

So they may know us. A cold bed.

So come and let it go, in your mind.

Do you fear who we are? Without you?

What we do, what we are, what we speak.

You’re afraid of everything that exists to you,

Sad as nothing as they whisper to you.

Your reflection in shadowed rooms.

Me.

Shut up! Just shut up!

I’m driven to insanity by your stupid broken promises.

I hope the tables turn, and you’ll be thrown into the ocean instead.

Who we are is not a bother to you once you’re gone.

I wish. :) i'm still so tired, and i've been up since 8. blah.

Today is going to be interesting, i'm going to the pool here. my only problem with that is that the water is FREEZING. it stays around 30  degrees and never changes. ugh. but i'll most likely be seeing my best friend again. :) he moved to another school, and i miss him.

how is everyone elses day going? i hope it's great!

oh, and thank you all so much for the Buzznet Original stuff. this is awesome! thank you decayedapple for writing that, and to whoever suggested me. :)

Hysteria-Muse
Pet Sematary- Ramones
Dear Maria, Count Me In- All Time Low
Time To Dance- Panic! At the Disco
Stuck in America- Sugarcult
Schools Out- Alice Cooper
Starry Eyes- Motley Crue
Sick for The Cure- Cinderella
Round and Round- Ratt
Skyway Avenue- We The Kings
I'm Not Over- Carolina Liar
The Birds And The Bees- Breathe Carolina
No Reply- The Beatles
Helena- Misfits
Cherry Pie- Warrant
My Only Cure- Recover
Help-The Beatles
Season- The Academy Is...
Yellow Submarine- The Beatles

Kansas- Dust In The Wind

whats on yours? :)

I was going to write something, but i can't think of anything. whatever, I'm a little stressed. I have to finish this summer homework by the first day of school, and i'm only halfway done. School starts August 7th. I'm so damn nervous.

Is there a song you can't get enough of? like, you listen to it over and over and over and it never gets old. Mine is My Only Cure by Recover. i just love that song. And No Reply by The Beatles is amazing too, And i'm pretty sure that Kiss Me, Kill Me by mest is the best song ever created. :)

A tragedy thats built on destiny. it left you with everything but blood from the knife that I cut your heart out with. now relax, close your eyes, what comes next is the surprise. This valentine is doomed, the smell of blood has filled this room. if i could do it all again, i would change most every single thing. i would let you kiss me, kill me. your kiss is tourture, but killing me would be too easy. our tragedy seems to be killing every thing it sees, like death its self...

I'm just so in love with that song. :) Its a shame Mest broke up, they could have done so many amazing things. theres only one song i can't listen to, Cursed. The reason is kind of sad, i guess. i ruined that song for me.

I cut you deep, stitched you up. Until there's nothing left but scars.

I absolutly ruined that song for me. besause now i have to carry that second line with me forever. it's in scars on my thigh.  i'm such a dumb person.

Who likes Against Me! ? i think they're awesome, i don't give a crap if people call them sell outs. everyone calls everybody sellouts now, i think they've forgotton the meaning of the word. Like emo, for example. everything seems to be emo now. I don't think many people know what emo is anymore.

anyweay, how did everyones week go? mine was a little boring. :) i need a life during the end of summer, haha.

i'm going to the mall tomorrow, with my friend april. never let that girl cut your hair, i won't again. :) then we're getting to the skate park via bus or foot. We both seem to have a slight weakness for those skater dudes. :D  it should be fun, i'm certianly looking forward to it.

  so, i cut my hair. My mom kind of freaked out. ok, "kind of" is a total under statement. she threatened to take away my sissors until i graduated from college. :) but i think it looks good, and she can't deny it. haha it's about 3 or 4 inches shorter, but i feel less stressed. i'll post some photos of it later. tomorrow after the mall. then i need to cut aprils hair too.

so, i have extreamly realistic and vivid dreams. and currently, i keep having one that is keeping my from turning out my lights at night. i have a huge problem with images remaining in my head.

So, what happens in this dream is this:

  I'm walking down the street, and some van comes up, and a man askes me for dierections for some address, i can't remember what it was. but see, he isn't a man, all the way. he has huge, gushing sores all over his face, and he has bloody eyes. i tell him i don't know where this place is, and he reaches out of the van and drags me in. I feel a stab in my hip, and look to see a needle sticking out of my skin. And I pass out.

 When i wake up in the dream, i'm strapped to a chair made of mold. do you know that weird white dude from Pan's Labyrinth? i can't remember who he was. the one with the eyes on the palms of his hands. well, something that looks like that runs at me, and picks up the chair, and i'm carried out into the hallway. we pass open doors, inside each room, theres a girl being tourtures until they die. It was horrible. i'm not going into details. but i'm dragged back to the room, and a snake wispers to me that my grave will be in the water. And i start to scream. even in the dream, my scream hurt my own ears.

 That creepy white thing lifts up my arm, and turns the inside of my wrist up. he takes out a knife and brings it toward my arm. and i'm pulled into a flashback. I can't remember what the flashback was, but i come back hyperventilating. when i look down, my arms are covered with scars, oddly they are healed. but they're bright blue. and the chair is gone, so i run. I'm running so fast that i start flying, but someones arms wrap around my waist and stop me. i turn, and it's a fucking clown. i'm so scared of clowns, it's insane. this clown grabs me and straps me to a sled. he carries this sled to the edge of a cliff over looking the ocean, and throws me over. the moment before i hit the water, i woke up.

I think the worst part of the nightmare was having to watch it from a diffrent persons eyes. i saw all that happening to me. and now i can't sleep.

Anyone know what it may mean?

I apologize to

My parents, because i'm not what they want me to be. and i don't think i ever will be. but i'd like to apologize for that.
Thomas. for being such an asshole to you when you only wanted to help me. i don't deserve to have you as a friend.
Anna, for being jealous of you. i envy almost everything.
Keane, for not coming to your memorial. i just can't stand the fact that you are gone, and i'll never see you again.
Everyone I lied to. Everyone i've been a bitch to. everyone i've hurt, maybe i need to be hurt back.
Everyone who i've ignored, you all deserve the best of attention. Everyone i've stolen from.

My brothers. i'm not a good sister, and i'm sorry for being so mean to you all.

The world. for all that i've ever done.

Oh I’d give up forever to be her,

And I’m lost behind my fake smile.

I wanted to be with him,

And baby, that’s all I could say.

So I’d gave up all that I live for,

I’ve fallen too far to exist.

My life has turned to a fast lane.

This problem created by me

I wish I could taste your smile,

Sweet as your gaze in my eyes.

Those lips are my destruction,

A fall I’m willing to meet.

And I’m lost soon, baby forever.

I’ll lose it if you want it now.

I’m stuck in my own lie,

So deeply

I’m not coming out real soon.

I don’t want this world to see me,

But baby, just don’t dare forget.

I need you to know who I am.

If you don’t need me, I’ll leave just for you.

It’s much too hard to hold out.

I can’t fight the tears, I don’t know why.

Because I really can’t cry.

Recover- My Only Cure.

my new addiction. :) anyone ever heard it?

"as the salt in my body,
i'm giving up slowly.
the hour and injury.
and i am unholy!

street smart like a sailor.
worldly like a whore.

permanent sleep is my only cure.
if it's all the time,
it won't hurt anymore.
if you can't help me, no one can.
if you can't help me, no one can.

all the blood in my body,
is pouring out slowly.
you're the reason why.
i am unholy!

worldly like a sailor.
street smart like a whore.

permanent sleep is my only cure.
if it's all the time,
it won't hurt anymore.
if you can't help me, no one can.
if you can't help me, no one can.

drive halfway, drive halfway
you won't make it. you won't make it!
drive halfway, drive halfway
you won't break it. you won't make it!

if you can't help me, no one can.
if you can't help me, no one can.
if you can't help me, no one can!

drive halfway, drive halfway
drive halfway, drive halfway"

Rain down with me, baby.

Just lose yourself,

But we've both known lust.

Pain.

And opening up my skin for you has never felt so good.

but can't you wait...

You fear is tapping on your shoulder.

razor sharp like your words.

so breathe onto me,

and be my escape.

i want you to know how much

i swear to god.

i know this will never stop.

but baby, i need you to forgive me.

and soon my heart won't beat,

be there anymore.

so if you could just

i'm so addicted to electronia music right now...i like that.

What electronica bands do you like?

my favourites are Breathe Carolina, and 3oh!3

go look them up. :)

www.myspace.com/breathecarolina

www.myspace.com/3oh3

they're completly addictive. i swear it.

I can't stop listening to them. go check them out.

http://www.myspace.com/3oh3

please? do it and tell me what you think. they are amazing. and most likely laced with something. :)

the lyrics are amazing too. :)

my favourite song is Don't Trust Me:

yeah, inside  my head. how creepy right? watch out for thos e brains. ok, what the hell am i talking about here?

yeah, i so can't type on this laptop. it'skindof pissing me off. kentucky was better than i thought it would be. OH WOW, what the hell am i watching? i'm stuck at this hotel in Atlanta. i've never been here, it's pretty cool.  i like it here. oh, what is my dad doing? bwahahahha. i can't believe i dropped my phone in the middle of the hallwway. that was a bad idea. i can't wait to be home, and i want some starbucks. ew, it would be weird to drink coffee out of etnies. i need some AllTimeLow down here, charge that ipod!   OH! soi'm watching house, thats it.  i so need a shower. see, i missed my flight to arizona, thats why i'm in Atlanta. and my bags are in tucson. that sucks. all my crap is in those bags, and i'm half a country away from them. makes me pretty freaked out. wow, i just blew a big bu8bble gum bubble. will anyone bother to read this? i'm so paranoid, you know that? ha, that dude scares me! his outfit is...creepy. Apples toApples is a great game.

and that is a peek inside my mind. i have no clue what i just wrote down.